Stop talking to everyone about yourself, your life and everything else.
It might seem extreme, I know, however talking about yourself, your family, your life and/or everything else don’t help you – it harms you and will one day come back to bite you. Somewhere down the line a trusted friend/family member, co-worker or even your partner might just decide to divulge everything you told he or her in confidence.
A secret is only a secret when only 1 knows about it.
WHY WE TALK
We talk about ourselves to get advice, to feel validated and to be accepted oh and sometimes to gain sympathy. Most of us do feel the need to talk to someone – to unload and to feel better.
I DID TOO
Yes, I have to admit that I too used to speak to everyone who wanted to listen about every aspect of my life. Some of it was due to me being a single Parent and not having a partner to talk to about life’s difficulties, however I kind of got addicted to it and feed off others. I could not make a decision without asking various people for their input and opinion.
It was a process to stop talking to everyone. I took some time for myself to learn why I did things the way I used to and then finding ways to change it. The change wasn’t overnight, it has been about 3 years since I put my plan into action.
The best one to make decision about you are You
KEEP YOUR RELATIONSHIPS HEALTHY
Don’t burden your family and friends or anyone else with your insecurities and problems and secrets. When you tell something to someone, you actually burdens them with your stuff and people can get tired of your problems.
There are also another side to it:
- Some people feed of you needing them
- When you divulge your life you give people a right to criticize your decisions and life.
- People can even sell you out and betray your trust
HOW TO CHANGE YOUR WAYS
- Stop talking to everyone
- Find a professional – psychologist, church minister – anyone who are not personally involved and discuss your problems or joys with that person only.
- Practice writing therapy every day even if you are not a writer.
- Take up a hobby like gardening, baking, reading or writing
- Help out in your community and stop feeling sorry for yourself.
It takes time to adjust your ways after years of doing, but it can be done and you will feel so much lighter, stronger and more in control than ever before.
Therapy is not a swear word. I see my therapist once a month and in that hour, I discuss everything that bothers me with her. Seeing a therapist is just one part of it as a therapist is not with you 24 hours a day though – they give you some helpful tools and the rest is up to you.
You have to learn how to self sooth
I just love writing therapy. It costs nothing and you only need a pen and some paper or a book. You do not need a degree to start writing therapy and there are no rules. Just write everything down: your feels, your heart break, your sorrows and anything else you want to talk about. Put your writings where nobody can find it – it is yours and only yours.